It was incomprehensible to me that Wisconsin does not have a hunting season for woodchucks, but sure enough, it’s true. State Representative Andre Jacque (R) from De Pere, however, has prepared a bill to remove the burrowing rodents from protected status. That’s right. They’re protected in Wisconsin, while in adjacent Michigan the season is open year-round with no limit.
Apparently, Wisconsin is short on qualified weather forecasters. Or, maybe it has a soft spot for the varmints because the city of Wausau has a baseball team dubbed the Woodchucks. The DNR can’t offer a reason for protection, either.
Predictably, Wisconsin’s chapter of the Sierra Club’s director, Shahla Werner, thinks hunting woodchucks (or, groundhogs in some circles) is just plain irresponsible, because she’s never heard of anyone eating them. She went on in an email to the Associated Press, “How are you going to explain to a second-grader in Sun Prarie why we shot Jimmy the Groundhog?” – Wisconsin’s version of Punxsutawney Phil.
Maybe Rep Jacque could allay Ms. Werner’s fears by specifically exempting weather prognosticators and mascots from the hit list and then fixing her a slow-cooked, ‘chuck roast dinner as a peace offering.
Or, better yet, maybe Ms. Werner should heed the Sierra Club’s own advice found on its website, where it encourages folks to do business with local farmers and to actually talk to them. They’d get an education. Fast!
Years ago, I did just that, while beginning a long and successful campaign to help local farmers rid their fields of the pesky critters. One long-time Michigan farmer, Charlie Coston, explained his disdain for the menacing marmots this way: “When baling hay, the piles of dirt (from excavation of burrows) gets spread into the hay and the animals won’t eat it. Sometimes tractors will hit the holes, caving them in and over goes your wagon-load of hay. The dirt also dulls the cutting knives and sometimes breaks them.” And, how many unsuspecting farm animals have broken their legs in the holes and then had to be killed?
Charlie forgot to mention how much one groundhog can eat in a season – up to an acre of beans per animal. With everything else against the farmer – where weather alone can deprive the farmer of income – who needs a better reason to minimize losses than farmers? And, how many farmers have you ever heard of who have had time to kill nuisance groundhogs, even though current Wisconsin law permits property owners to hunt nuisance groundhogs?
We hear so much today about how people must come together to solve conflicts and this dilemma lends itself perfectly to a common purpose: helping the local farmers by ridding their farms of such inherent dangers. And, it can be done without hunting at all.
Follow me now. Everyone knows the animal rights groups like the Humane Society of the United States and the Sierra Club have millions in cash. All they have to do is spend some on ads in local newspapers offering to live-trap woodchucks at no cost. Sure they’d have to purchase some traps and spend some time monitoring them, but imagine how satisfied they’d be when they release the unharmed critters for relocation in their own animal-loving, urban neighborhoods.
They could beat the hunters at their own game without a fight. But, what fun would that be?
In the meantime, while holding our collective breath, I’ll just keep my varmint rifle handy.
